Dear Diary,

Today progress was made. I tried to bond with Greta, and it seemed to work. She has this fascination with playing with my hair, but I don't quite get it. She and Niku seem to think I don't take care of it just because it has natural oils. Well... I don't want to fry my hair with chemicals. Forgive me, but I'm doing what I always do.

Another thing, though...

I hate I'm getting blamed for doing nothing to try to bond with her. Look at me... I'm from a wealthy family, I'm paler than a ghost, and I'm mentally unstable. I wish they would just tell me what I have to do. I don't know about drug rings, gangs of any sort, drinking and boozing all the time... so how am I supposed to relate? I'm not a genius, after all. I can't read minds... I just heard voices in my head.

Even worse...

I'm in school and finals are soon. I haven't been in a few weeks because I fear that another one of Niku's ex-girlfriends will find me and try to poison me again. I hate living in such a state of worry. It's paranoia, I believe. I can't find the answers in my textbooks... you remember, Diary. The ones Greta destroyed.

I'm not mad at her, no. Not anymore. I was for the longest time, but while reading and studying, I've learned that children act out drastically when they get lonely among other things. I should pay attention to her more, but the way she plays Niku's little shadow worries me tremendously. It's like... I don't know... It's like I don't exist.

Niku's another story entirely.

I don't know what to do with him anymore. I really, really don't. I love him dearly, but we're still from two different worlds. I see so much wrong in things he sees so right, and vice versa. I guess that's what makes me love him so much... there has to be something.

I have a little doubt, but only when things are the worst. I know I love him. I just know it.

He's no Raphael, though. That's what makes it worth it. He's exactly what I need, not what I thought I did. Niku... one day, I'll let you read this. One day...

Well, there's the call for dinner. I can't write anymore. Good night.

~*Celesta*~